Posts Tagged ‘Car Pool’

I Think I Might be a Stereotype?!?!

I’m a stay-at-home mom. That in and of itself isn’t that remarkable. There are lots of us killing it out there on the daily. But there are some stereotypes that go along with the job. There’s the mini, and the Pinning, and the yoga pants. I’m checking it all off my list and I’m like WTF happened to me?

When I worked, I was in an extremely image-conscious industry. It was all about the clothes, the makeup, and the hair. I wore all black, red lipstick and a royal purple faux hawk that was on point. Today, I’m flexing high waisted yoga pants that have never seen a studio. I still slap on the red lips, but I’ve decided to let my hair go gray in sharp contrast to the hairstyles of the past. That didn’t last, but I’m still more about an easy, on-the-go look, than anything that’s turning heads.

I have Ugg boots. Lots of them. I’ve even got the slippers. The second it dips below sixty, those furry friends are replacing my Birks and will stay on until the first flower of spring. Where did my heels and knee-high boots go? They’re so far in the back of the closet, I’d need a search party to find them.

For the love of Christ, I bought a shirt that says, “Pumpkin Spice is My Favorite Season.” And it’s true! That’s basic AF! My house is decorated for all the seasons. I currently have a giant red sign on my porch that says, “Joy to the World.” It’s positioned next to my bright teal door with a giant monogram on the front. I even change the cases on my family room’s throw pillows to match my holiday theme.

I drive a mini van. I’m never going back. This I freaking love. It’s spacious. The kids can safely open the doors themselves. There’s plenty of room for car seats and all of our on-the-go gear. That’s what we all say to justify the fact that we’ve settled into our position as carpool queen.

I have an Instant Pot. It sits next to my air fryer and crockpot in the pantry. They come in handy when I’m whipping up the delicious meals that I’ve been busy pinning. I love to organize my boards so that they’re easily accessible with pasta, soup, and chicken options.

I’m in those mom groups. You know, the ones where people ask a bunch of strangers about the weird rash their two-year-old woke up with. I refrain from giving advice on when you should flip your kid’s car seat or whether I think Orajel is safe. I may just be creeping, but you know I’m reading that shit on the daily.

While I have changed a lot since I made the move from the working world to the stay-at-home lifestyle, I’m happy. I feel extremely lucky that I have had the opportunity to be with my kids as they are growing up. I don’t take that for granted. And if that means that you can spot me a mile away midday at Target with those tummy tucking yogas and a PSL in hand, I’m OK with that. But please for all that’s holy, take the “This is my Hallmark Movie Watching,” sweatshirt out of my cart!

I see your Darth Vader and Raise you a Sophia Petrillo

Handsome #1 and Me

Constantly having our own little Clone War

May the force be with you. I know that is from Star Wars. I know that Darth Vader is the father. I can identify Luke, Han, Leia and Yoda and probably a Storm Trooper in a line up, but let’s not push it.

Truth be told, if I didn’t have three sons and a Star Wars Nerd husband, I wouldn’t know any of this. Sure, I watched it as a kid, but that too was a result of being the only girl around and sometimes you lose.

Handsome #1 and Handsome #2 are obsessed with Star Wars. So much so that Handsome #2 will only wear Star Wars t shirts. He has four and with seven days in a week there is a good chance that the one he is wearing is on day two or three because I prefer the laundry stack to the ceiling before I throw a load in.

If they aren’t playing the video game, beating one another up with homemade light sabers or building some kind of weird base that I can’t remember what they call for all of their Lego Star Wars action figures, they are quizzing anyone who wants to listen on Star Wars trivia.

Seriously, I know nothing and don’t really care to learn. But for reasons I cannot understand, they think that I do. In their minds, I should stay up watching movies or reading comic books and fan fiction in an effort to learn something before the next quiz. Handsome #1 in particular gets extremely agitated when I can’t produce an answer. On a recent drive to school, things became particularly heated as we pulled into the parking lot.

Handsome #1: Mom, who is Luke’s father?

Me: Darth Vader.

Handsome #1: Correct. Now, who is Luke’s sister?

Me: Princess Leia.

Handsome #1: Exactly. What is Jar Jar Binks?

Me: He’s one of the guys they know.
Handsome #1: No, mom, what is he?

Me: Is he that slug guy?

Handsome #1: That is Jabba the Hut. Come on mom! What is Jar Jar? Is he a Ithorian, Rodian, Mon Calarmian or a Gungun?

Me: I don’t know, let’s listen to the radio.

Handsome #1: Mom! What is he? This is not that hard!
Me:You tell me, Handsome #1! Is Rose dumb? Is Dorothy a jerk? What about Blanche, is she a hussy? And what about Sophia? Don’t even get me started on Stanley!

Handsome #1: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me: Welcome to my life. Have a nice day, and thank you for being a friend…..